Dispatches from the Fortress

This is going to be a potpourri of things too long to post about on Facebook but undeserving of their own entries.

#1- Snow

Right now I am "enjoying" my second day off work from the job that is slowly killing me. Being back in the south I am reminded of why I liked snow so much that I moved to Boston. Doesn't it make everything look pure and new? It seems to be the weather of hope for me. A snowy yard is ripe with potential. Even if nothing is done with it, it is a blank canvas upon which to paint a moment or memory.

Snow in Boston was pervasive and sometimes lingered the entire winter in the darker places that never saw sunlight. In Boston, snow was just a thing that had to be dealt with. The city couldn't stop for it so that brittle moment of seeing an untouched blanket of the stuff was rare. It rarely meant the same thing there but I didn't mind it.

#2- Okkervil River

Been listening to The Silver Gymnasium a lot lately. I left it in my mother's car (as I have no car of my own). She asked me, "Is that the group that sings 'We Don't Give Suicide Cards'?" Which is kind of awesome in that she was listening to Lido Pier Suicide Car. I think Hallmark needs to look into this.

I can't judge her because, when I am on rounds at the hospital, I sing the songs to myself. In the song "Pink Slips" there is a line about being "A refugee from the rat race, with his white tuxedo and his sad face." I always turn it into "with his pink torpedo and his sad face." Fans of Spinal Tap may recognize this as a euphemism for a dick.

I told my best friend about both of these and he says my family is giving that album an impressive rewrite. Hell yes we are.

#3- Writing

I have gotten some great feedback on the first 1/5th of my novel. I am in the midst of rewriting the second fifth. It took me a little while to get back into the writing of it but now I am getting excited about the project again. More updates to come.

#4- Woody Allen

So, this is one I have been resisting writing about but I kind of feel like I need to say what I need to say here. Firstly, I am not an apologist. I love Allen's work, yes, but I love Roman Polanski's also. And I totally believe Polanski is a rapist. Their art in no way makes me believe they are incapable of heinous things. I think what Woody did with Soon Yi is pretty sleazy but not illegal.

Now, again, I wasn't there but I believe Woody did not molest Dylan for one reason: it doesn't fit his pathology. Pedophiles get kind of lumped together as anyone who wants to have sex with people under 18 years of age. Woody's interest has always been in post-adolescent girls who display secondary sexual characteristics that indicate a girl is of the age to reproduce. Now, the reason this is creepy isn't because these girls aren't physically capable of sexual relations, it is because they are mentally and emotionally unprepared for such activities. Even at 18, the age of consent is probably too low because who the hell knows what they are doing at 18? But I digress.

Pre-pubescent girls, by definition, do not display the secondary sexual characteristics that indicate they are fertile. Dylan, at age 8, was just not Woody's type. If the accusation was that he molested her when she was 14, I would probably believe it.

Let me be clear, I think sex with a 16 year old is just as bad as sex with a 6 year old but there are two very different mindsets that lead to each. A man who acts on sexual desires for a 16 year old is violating decency but not doing anything that shocking if you understand how human biology works. A man who acts on sexual desires for a 6 year old is violating decency and the hard-wiring that tells men to attempt reproduction with viable candidates to produce offspring.

Therefore, I think pedophilia is a biological aberration while sexual attraction to underage girls is a moral failing.  Again, maybe Woody had a total psychotic meltdown and acted against everything in his being. I don't know. Right now, the narrative that Mia coached Dylan into the story makes way more sense to me. I totally believe Dylan believes it happened. I don't think this is a "false accusation" from her. But, I think the memory is false. Memories are completely unreliable. Just look at the Satanic abuse scares of the 1980s.

The trauma is very real to Dylan and whatever she needs to do to move on, I am all for it. I just think she is blaming the wrong parent. I could be incorrect but, the facts just don't add up to me.