Made it to 13k

There are two different days alive calculators on the internet and one says today is my 13,000th day alive while the other says that will be tomorrow. Not sure which is right, no desire to do the math. But it occurs to me, wouldn't K days make more sense to celebrate than birthdays, for adults anyway?

Patton Oswalt has a funny bit about birthdays...

He is right that adult birthdays seem strange sometimes. It is one of the few things you do the exact same way whether you are 2 years old or 39. Maybe a little more booze when you are 39.

Still, to celebrate every 1,000 days would be a celebration once every 2.7 years or so. And by then, wouldn't it be great to have a blowout? Maybe I will insist on my friends only recognizing my Kdays. So, the next time someone has to get me a gift will be sometime in 2016. Unless you count Christmas.

So, what have I learned over 13,000 days?

1) Money matters. It is unfortunate but those with money have less pressing worries than those without. Yes, the physical effect on your body might be the same whether you are fretting over the new car being the wrong color or worrying about how you will feed your children next month but one is obviously less of a real problem. I have been on a pendulum between poor and middle class my whole life so I have seen it from both sides. Let me tell you, the side with the money is way more fun to be on. There are lots of cool things to go do and experience in the world, but most require money to access. I am not saying capitalism is evil (although it can certainly lead to evil) or that money is the cause of all problems but I am saying that, as our society currently stands, it is better to have money than not.

2) Looks matter. Now, there is a wide range of acceptable good looks in the world. I don't think there is even a celebrity who everyone can agree is beautiful. But everyone falls somewhere on a bell curve. I am near one of the outlier ends (a good 2+ standard deviations away from...say, Brad Pitt). When I am thin (usually due to a self-imposed eating disorder) I move much closer to the center and get all sorts of positive attention. Now, one way to look at this is McDonalds versus a boutique eatery that only serves bacon pancakes. Most people love to eat McDonalds (except me) and very few people have heard of "Captain McGinty's Baconcake Factory" (because I just made it up). However, those who know about McGinty's really love it for what it has to offer, not because it is homogeneously attractive to their appetites. So, you could say that people who find me attractive are in a more niche market. Still, like money, being good looking opens doors to you that being a fugster doesn't.

3) Art is hard. Most people are not born innately talented at the arts. There are some prodigies, sure. But most producers of music, literature, movies, visual arts and dance have to learn their craft. They have to practice and fail and practice and fail some more. They have to have dedication and conviction in their visions. My friends who produce art of any kind astound me because, even if it is only half decent, it represents hours upon hours of practice and refinement. Hats off to the artists of the world.

4) A person is awesome, people are stupid. Lately, I have finally figured out why I am a misanthrope but I usually get along with just about everyone I meet. It occurred to me while writing an aborted political article that, when people aggregate, they lose personal responsibility and accountability. Like lynch mobs and rioters, people as a whole are venal, violent, stubborn and hateful. If you took any group of horrible people (even the Nazis, I bet) and spoke to them one at a time, you might find some rough edges here and there but most would be perfectly nice people. Adding people together seems to amplify our worst natures and suppress our rational sides. That is why I love people but hate them.

5) Always be learning. Take an interest in something and read about it. For me, I still like to read up on science. It has no practical application in my life but it works out the muscle of "Really? I did not know that." That muscle gets disused over time.

6) Lots of people don't know how to talk to other people. I have no idea why this is but 90% of people I meet who are my age or younger are horrible at conversations. People mostly just want to talk about themselves. And I enjoy listening to other people talk but, every now and then it is good to hear a question. It lets you know the other person gives a shit about you. Most people don't ask questions anymore. I find that infuriating.

7) I love the ocean. Nothing more deep than that. It relaxes me to look at it, be near it, feel an ocean breeze or smell the salt water. Yep, ocean guy.

8) There is no such thing as a bad character, just bad writers. This mostly applies to comics where a character can end up written by hundreds of different people over his or her lifespan. Characters I thought were useless can be brought to life with a new writer. I guess, to apply this to life I would say, be open to collaboration or other people's ideas.

9) There is no justice. This is probably upsetting to people who believe in an active, benevolent God but I have come to the conclusion that there is no order to the universe beyond natural laws. Good things and bad things happen to good people and bad people. Try to be good all you want, you will still get cancer. Screw people over and be a shitbag, you can still win the lottery. There is no one keeping score, no one keeping track of your deeds. Be good because it is the right thing to do, not for a reward.

10) Pop culture will leave you behind, too. It happens to everyone who wants to lead at least a semi-productive life. Things you love will be old-fashioned and things the generation behind you love will seem aggravating and stupid. What is popular will one day be defined by "whatever you are not." It is exhausting to me, at my still-relatively young age, to seek out new music I like or discover new authors. When you find something new you love, it is totally worth it but the search gets harder every year.

11) Bad food tastes good. Ask Captain McGinty, he knows the secret to delicious is salt and sugar. Salted meats taste divine. Chocolates are delicious. Carrots? Meh. Dip em in some ranch! Cucumbers? Gag me. Make them into pickles! I don't know, maybe you can train your mouth to water at a turnip as if it was a slice of cheesy pizza but it takes more willpower than I have.

12) People change. I have friends from my childhood who I dream about on a regular basis. One in particular was my very best friend for over ten years and we aren't even facebook friends anymore. I don't feel like I changed that much but she certainly did. If only because she stopped talking to me and letting me know how she was thinking about things. I miss her very much, but the her I miss is someone who no longer exists. I probably wouldn't even know her now. So, if you can find someone to be your friend forever, cherish that. It is rare.

13) Experience is just as important as information. When I was a kid, I put premium emphasis on school work. I wanted to make As and know as much as I could. I didn't drink, do drugs, party or even really have much sex (probably more than I should have been and certainly not as much as I wanted). Of all my fond memories of high school, none of them come from class. They come from spending time with my friends, having adventures, fucking things up and working our way out of trouble. Knowledge without application is, in my experience, useless. Experience without some knowledge to guide it is dangerous. Learn and live, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

So, I learned one thing every 1,000 days, sounds about right. This won't be my last entry. I'm not feeling as despondent as I did this time last week. I do miss the good stuff about life but I have faith I will get to experience some of them again. I love my friends and parents. Here is to 13,000 more spins.