If anyone read my last post (and it looks like one person did), I was in a pretty low place. I was dwelling on a lot of the negatives in my life (that I will be halfway back to my back breaking debt if I lose my job, have no car, no way to pay my rent, my age, my weight, my lack of love, etc.). This past week has been really moving in regards to the outpouring of offers from my friends to help me. I always feel like people just kind of tolerate me or humor me but I have made a lot of really strong friends. People are offering me places to live. People are offering me help finding a job. People are offering transportation and (most importantly) people are just talking to me to make sure I am not going to do anything stupid.
Now that the panic is dying down, I am thinking about how much I have disliked this job. I have been thinking for a long time about starting my career. I have been looking for a plan. But there has been no plan. All the things I was depressed about are still absolutely true and are all things I need to address. I just feel so much better today knowing how many people have my back. I would have to just be stubbornly, willfully morose to ignore all the genuine affection I have received this week.
Thank you, everyone. I love all my friends and I hope I can (or have in the past) help you in the way you've helped me. No self-harm. Not right now. Now, I need to get to work...
No comments:
Post a Comment