Spooktoberween #3 & 4: Transylvania 6-5000 and The Pact

Watched two today in an attempt to catch up a bit. One was a childhood favorite, Transylvania 6-5000. It...does not hold up well. Comic books sort of primed my imagination for the idea of a shared fictional universe. If Spider-Man and Iron Man can exist in the same world, why shouldn't Frankenstein and Dracula? The Monster Squad movie made all my childhood dreams of a shared monster universe come to life with a touch of the Goonies magic. Apparently, I was really into watching Transylvania 6-5000 because there is a vampire, a wolfman, a Frankenstein, a mummy and a...contortionist? Anyway, it was meant to be a comedy vehicle for Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley Jr. Goldblum's low-to-the-point-of-comatose energy does not fit well with all the frantic mugging and sub-vaudeville routines enacted by a supporting cast of Jeffrey Jones, Michael Richards, Carol Cane and Geena Davis (among others).

The physical gags by Michael Richards were the only things I recalled about this movie before seeing it again and they were the bits that made me chuckle this time around. It is sort of ironic that Richards plays a character who doesn't know he isn't funny because he relies only on pratfalls and slapstick. A few years later, those same pratfalls would make him America's sweetheart as Kramer on Seinfeld.

I would also like to point out that Geena Davis jump started my puberty with her super revealing vampire costume. I also found myself wanting to see more of the Wolfman, because his schtick was kind of funny.Every time Carol Kane and John Byner appeared on screen as a bickering couple I prayed for a death that would not come.

Yowza!

Despite the stellar cast, I can't recommend this movie in good conscience.

The Pact, on the other hand, was a neat little horror movie and the first of the month to give me the creeps. Unfortunately aping the plot of my own screenplay I was working on, two sisters come back to their family home after the death of their abusive mother. One immediately vanishes and shit gets weirder from there. The haunted house shenanigans change into something else entirely in the third act, which was a pleasant surprise. There are some horrific images and moments of high tension. A lot of the haunted house cliches are used up in the first 10 minutes, leaving the filmmakers to find a new route.

The director worked on Starship Troopers, which may explain how Casper Van Dien shows up here as a schlubby cop who helps the remaining sister uncover the secrets of the house she grew up in. In some aspects, you will easily be ahead of the characters and, in others, you will be making discoveries along with them that you couldn't have guessed. Some of the secrets are spelled out and some are implied. It was almost as if Nicholas McCarthy (the writer/director) couldn't decide if he trusts the audience to get it or not so he split the difference.

You could do worse looking for a solid haunted house movie on Netflix.