The Life Trap

Taking a break from Spooktoberween for the moment to write about something that has been taking up all my mental energies lately. Thinking about The Life Trap has kept me from writing any of my fiction or really enjoying myself too terribly much.

I get the phrase "The Life Trap" from some issues of Mr. Miracle comics written by Grant Morrison. It doesn't really matter what it meant in the context of the comic but I would be willing to bet 95% of my readers are feeling themselves caught in it right now. The Life Trap is created by a series of decisions that leave you unable to alter your destiny in any real way. Maybe you have children, maybe you have signed a contract, maybe you owe a butt ton of money...whatever it is that limits your ability to just go and do whatever you want...that is your Life Trap.

A few nights ago, I sat down at work and figured out a budget. I have been avoiding this because I knew the results would be horrific. Sure enough, if I don't buy any gifts for anyone ever, don't do anything fun ever and live off of $10 a day of food, I can pay off my credit card in a little over 3 years and then start thinking about buying a car.

So, for me, debt is the trap and low wages don't give me the tools I need to escape the trap. I have been thinking about joining the Peace Corp, helping others while I travel the world, but...the trap is insidious. I know if I just leave a job to go gallivanting, without paying off my debt first, the debt will grow in the interim and things will be worse than before I left. There is also a domino effect with my credit score. If I fall behind on payments, my score lowers. This will make it harder in the future to buy a car or a house (both of which I will need if I ever want a family of my own).

These responsibilities to my future self and my creditors keep me chained into a job with a horrible schedule, low wages and no future. I am not generally happy with the way my life is going right now and I feel like I need a major shake-up. A change in location or vocation, a change in diet and exercise, a change in the amount of time I spend doing what I love (writing, consuming pop culture and being with the people who mean the most to me)...all of these things feel necessary. I just don't know how to get there from here. Constant rejection from job applications (averaging three to five a week) is discouraging, I won't lie. Any one else feel trapped?