Finally Thinking

I was just eating in an IHOP at midnight, by myself. Usually, when I eat alone, I carry a notebook in with me in case inspiration strikes. Well, strike it did. I finally started thinking about my options and trying to come up with a realistic plan for my life. I came up with a 3x3 grid. On one axis: great job, shitty job, no job. On the other: Kansas City, Some other city, Greenville. Won't you join me as I explore my options?

Option 1: Great Job in Kansas City. Well, this would be ideal, wouldn't it? If I could get a great job (not like any of the ones I have applied for), I could stay here, finish out my lease and start paying for a car. The only hitch in this: what do I consider a great job? I mean, something that is going to pay me like a boss is going to almost by definition be something I am only mildly interested in. There are no management positions open at casinos. If I want Option 1 to work, I have until the end of July (maybe August if I have found the brass ring and think I can snag it). So, for this option, I need to figure out what it is I could do for a career and start applying if there are any such positions in KC. So, not the easiest and there is a clock ticking.

Option 2: Shitty job in Kansas City. That is to say, I get one of these jobs I have been applying to. If so, I can pay my bills and rent but will not be able to get a car without a second job. In which case I would have to find something part-time. I am having a hard enough time finding full-time but the bar would be pretty damn low for the part-time job. Hell, I could work at a pizza place or try retail somewhere. The point is, doable. Again, I have until the end of July to work something out or the money runs dry. This would be stop gap at best.

Option 3: No Job in KC. Well, like I said, there is an expiration date on all the KC stuff. Unless I want to run up massive debt, I have until the end of the summer at best to get a job or get out. So, this is obviously not a long-term solution and it is what I am living in right now!

Option 4: Great Job somewhere else. So, say I figure out what I want to be when I grow up. However, nowhere in KC has what I need. If I can get a nicely paying job somewhere else, I can probably afford to relocate, pay off what debt I have here and work on getting a car. Of course, the main thing is to look first at cities with great public transpo so the car becomes a secondary concern. The worst drawback is going deeper in debt to relocate again so soon and I would be on the hook for my lease here until next March!

Option 5: Shitty Job somewhere else. This one is the biggest gamble. It eliminates the need for a car because I would only take a shitty job in a city where I could get around on public transpo. Of course, those are usually big cities that cost more to live in so even the shitty job would have to be not so shitty. I would still probably wind up having to get two jobs just to live in the city with the shitty job.

Option 6: No job somewhere else. Why would I even do this one?

Option 7: Great Job in Greenville. Although I am not ready to come back to Greenville just yet in a spiritual sense, all my friends are there and I have learned how to live there. If I could find a kickass job there that would pay down my debts and allow me to get a car, I would be open to it for sure.

Option 8: Shitty Job in Greenville. Not even sure how I would pull this one off. Living with friends or my parents would reduce my bills but not eliminate them. I would also be paying rent still on this place in KC I'm not using. AND I would have to find transportation. This seems unfeasible.

Option 9: No job in Greenville. This is the second worst option to me (besides relocating somewhere without a job). I would just be leeching from my friends and family, going deeper into debt and would be unable to afford a car.

With all this laid out in front of me, I have to say that Option 1 or 4 would be best to me. That means finding a job I actually want. Option 5 is actually the next most appealing just because I know I'm not going to end up in KC.

So, what do I want to do?

I have been outlining writing projects, so that is one thing. I want to give comics another go (not letting Damocles Fugue's death get me down). The main problem with working two jobs is, that doesn't leave a lot of time for writing. Writing is the thing I want to get serious about and do. I will never earn my living through writing but at least I can be happy doing that on the side. So most creative jobs are entry level, ie shitty, jobs. If I want option 1 or 4, I will have to go for something in my field...security, investigations or teaching CJ. I still have a lot to think about but my thoughts are finally organized.