On Matters of Identity

Besides being a child to my parents, I can't think of anything I have done for 8 years in a row. My schools were divided so that Elementary school lasted the longest (five years). I suppose "student" was part of my identity for a good 15 years but that seemed easy to shed. There was always an ending on the horizon, I knew when it was coming and could prepare. I certainly have not lived in one place for more than 8 years since moving out of my parents' house for college. Being a South Carolinian lasted a good, long time but I don't even really know what that means besides an accident of geography.

I was playing a game on Facebook today and I looked at the avatar I had created for myself over the past five months or so of playing the game. His head was shaved (check), he had brown eyes (check), he was wearing glasses (like I should be) and was wearing a suit and tie. A suit and tie is how I saw myself. Sure, it helps when ladies tell you that you look good dressed up. But still, that was my costume, my outfit for 8 years. I don't have a badge anymore. I don't have a company car. I don't work for any government agencies with fancy names. All that has been taken. Sure, I wanted it all to go eventually but on my terms.

So, who am I if I am not an investigator? I guess some things remain inviolate. I am the son of my parents. I am a white, middle-aged, educated male. I still love comic books and movies and books and trivia and music and comedy. I live in Missouri (how did that happen?). I am a friend to a wide-variety of people I would kill and/or die for. I am also friends with a larger group I would punch and/or be punched for. I am also also friends with an even larger group I would hassle and be hassled for.

For a man, traditionally, your job is who you are. It is how you provide for those you love. It is the tool to get you what you want in a capitalist society. It also fills up most of your hours and mental capacity. It can serve as a source of pride.

I am nervous and excited to see how these pieces of me will be redefined.